


It's Easier To Say I Hate You Than I Love You

by QueenPaintt



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Drinking, Excessive Drinking, Fights, Fucked Up, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It Gets Better, Lots of kissing, M/M, i guess, in general, look im bad at tagging stuff bro, not really sleep deprivation though, some what venting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:52:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8524876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPaintt/pseuds/QueenPaintt
Summary: i wanted to make some agnsty shit so here it is
i can't finish chapters because i suck  (YET HERE I AM) but ill try to end bothersome some how-  i think i have writer's block ;)))))))oh yeah~ im up for constructive criticism and what you thought ;3





	

He didn’t want to go.

 

It was just a offer, but…

 

Here he was sitting on the back porch of someone’s house drinking what might have been his fifth bottle of raspberry ale. 'Try to drink the pain away.' His hand was steady as he tipped the bottle back letting the poison slide down its neck into his throat letting the liquid do its work of taking his mind off previous events that played on replay like a broken record. 'You’re broken.' He took the bottle from his lips and tossed into the yard and watched it shatter as the remaining drink splashed up. His lips trembled and hands shook. He ran a hand through his messy hair while trying to fight back tears. Three pointless fucking years. Three years of trying to suppress feelings that he knew wouldn’t be reciprocated. And yet he still held onto false hope. So here he is, smelling like cigarettes from the nearby crowd and watching the red sunset with water rippling, crashing into the shore, intoxicating his lungs. ‘Fuck it’ isn’t working. He clamped down on his lip until he could taste blood in his mouth. 

 

She was so pretty. Blonde hair and beautiful eyes: just the type. Lance could flirted with every living thing and this one just happened to be interested. He just didn’t expect for Lance to pick her over him. Now he can’t take his mind of off of the guy. 'The person who only saw you as a friend.' 'Bullshit. This can’t be one sided- this can’t be real.' 'Yet it fucking is.' He grind his teeth and bit his tongue. “Goddamn it Lance!” His voice was hoarse and the name felt foreign with bittersweet familiarity. The alcohol better kick in quick, strongest shit in the house and it doesn’t do jack shit. The tears finally fell one by one. His vision blurred and the salt on his face was all too familiar. 

 

-' “I’m so glad I found you.. But just as a friend.” '

 

She wasn’t even that pretty. She’s an attention whore. 'Like You?' 'Shut the fuck up. I hate him.' 'No you don’t you love him.' “You’re lying” A growl escaped.  
'Go after him if you love him so much.'  
Keith went quiet and listened to the sound of a broken heartbeat. 'But he doesn’t…'  
His thoughts swirled out of control and a burning sensation boiled in his gut. He quickly clutched his stomach and felt his entrails being raked out of him. The heat of the toxins burnt his mouth and blood was left remaining from the deep bite on his lip. He wanted to be left for dead. He hurled again, but this time was far worse. His stomach twisted and his gut still burned like a forest fire, spreading across his body. It consumed his every thought. He couldn’t stop. Realization became too much. 

 

“Keith!” a voice practically shouted. A hand clasped his shoulder and tugged him up. Keith pulled his sleeve and whipped his mouth. He smelled like the ocean and raspberry ale. An interestingly decent smell until you could find the hint of blood. “What.” Keith snarled. Lance was taken back by the sudden tone but proceeded on carefully. “Hey. Are you okay?” His voice was filled with worry and confusion yet his face showed a hint of displeasure. “I’m fine.” Keith ended but Lance was persistent as usual. Lance moved closer but he jumped out of reach. At this distance the other could finally see his red eyes and lack of life. Keith spoke up when the silence became too much to bare, “Don’t. Go run off to your girlfriend. I’m sure she’d be happy to have you all to herself,” He pressed his lips into a thin line when he realized he said a little more than he wanted. “I don’t want to talk about that cheating bitch. I came to get you so we could go home,” Lance’s tone shifted into something dangerous. “I’ll get someone to take me home,” Keith didn’t need to spend an hour in a car with the one man he dreaded most and loved unconditionally. Lance grabbed his wrist and dragged him through the house to the front door. The beat of the song playing pounded in his head but the other seemed unaffected. They ran between cars to an old cobalt blue impala. He hated him. He worried too much. Nyma was nowhere to be seen in the crowd inside. Everyone was either was completely wasted or was having sex in one of the rooms. 

 

“What is wrong!?” Lance sneered. Keith yanked free of his hold and used his sleeve once again to wipe blood from his lip. The action didn’t go unnoticed. The sweater sleeve had dark red splotches that stood out against the woven gray. “I said it’s nothing. You could have left me in there.” He said. Keith tried not to show his lack of sleep and drinking routine, but his fear gave way by the trembling of his fingers and trouble thinking straight when it came to Lance. “Why so you can get drunk like last time and-” “What? Drown myself? You’re a conceited prick. Not thinking about anyone but yourself. Get over yourself, Lance. You should have left me in that pool,” Lance looked hurt by the last comment and he would be lying if he said he it didn’t feel like a bullet shot through his chest. He spoke up again but tried his best not to completely break. “Listen to yourself, you’re completely delusional,”

 

-It was horrific.

 

-How much one person could bleed out. Lance was expecting to see Keith laying around. Attempting at nothing. He drank himself to sleep and Lance was constantly on edge over him getting alcohol poisoning. Keith fell off track about a week back when he declared Nyma as his. She was everything you could possibly want in someone, always kept a smile. The group was a kind to her when she was around and put up with her in hopes of keeping Lance around as well. Keith however disappeared for awhile during the two weeks they were together. His door was always shut as if blocking everyone out. He only came out to use the bathroom or steal food from the fridge which at the time, was becoming more and more scarce. It was a friday, Lance was returning after a day with his ”significant” other but came back to see a dreadful scene. There was Keith, slowly sinking into the house’s pool with blood trailing after him. He looked still. Lifeless almost. The sight made his skin turn ice cold. His heart broke at the scene and panic hit him like a train. Without thinking he jumped in after him and yanked the other up. Once surfacing he noticed the empty bottles, scribbled on paper and a broken frame with blood on it leading to the open door. It shattered him.

 

Keith hissed, “Oh? I’m the delusional one? Well at least I’m not dating some slut who fucks everyone when when I turn around,” Lance put on a face of disgust but his eyes still remained depressed. “Look I’m sorry, but you can’t just decide to go. You of all people Keith, should know how devastating that can be. I know we haven’t seen eye to eye this pass month and whatever I did I’m sorry, just, tell me what happened,” Lance ran a hand through his hair and huffed out a breath. The other avoided eye contact yet stayed leaning up against the car, not daring to move. “If that’s you’re form of an apology; of course fucking not,” Keith turned to climb into the car but was caught by a pair of lips pressing into his. He melded into it as warmth pooled in his chest. The two fought for entrance but he gave in. The taste of blood eventually passed over to Lance who instead of pulling back pushed further into the kiss. Lance’s arms snaked around the other’s waist and pulled him closer. Keith gripped onto Lance’s shirt to pull him closer. Their lips moved in synch both wanting more with each fleeting second. Keith felt himself being lifted up onto the hood of the car so he leaned back bringing Lance with him. Lance realised how much he need him in his other’s sudden absence. Nyma became more controlling and a headache to deal with. He missed Keith. The other bit down on Lance’s lower lip and a sudden moan sounded from him. Keith hooked his arms around Lance’s neck to pull him closer. The two finally split for air and Keith’s mouth turned up into a fond but worrisome smile. “Apology accepted,” Lance put on his signature shit eating grin but still held a lovestruck high. He leaned into his neck and muffled words made Keith’s skin prick, “Why didn’t I go after you first?” Keith smirked at the question. “Probably because you were thinking with your dick,” He stiffened at the comment “Actually, I didn’t think you were into me so, if that helps,” Lance felt his lips dry and Keith responded, “Oh.” 

 

Then a sense of disappointment washed over him. He let out a disgruntled sigh “I’m gay, you idiot,” Keith felt a laugh vibrate in the other from close proximity; “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Lance saw Keith flush a deep red at the pet name and earned a half-hearted punch to the arm. His high didn’t last to long when reality came rushing back. Keith shifted into a more melancholy mood and Lance caught on rather quickly. “Hey,”- he set a warm hand on the other’s knee-”What’s wrong now?” Keith tried to speak but the words were trapped in his throat, “I- I don’t know, it’s just that, judging by how you talk about Nyma now, I don’t to be a rebound,” Lance’s mood darkened at the mention of his now ex and lowly he thought of himself. He looked closely at Keith and let thoughts and memories replay in his mind. Lance loved him dearly, but Keith didn’t know. He and Nyma fought more and more as the other drifted. It was all in vein. His friend had retreated from the world and Lance started to care and think more about him than his so called “lover”. An infatuation from the start became a quick attachment. Lance eventually caved in around four months prior to his relationship with Nyma. This was too dramatic, even for his taste. Keith felt his chin tipped up to face Lance and was kissed lightly. It was more reassuring than lustful yet it still had desire fused to it. Keith was caught off from the start of this resolution and welcomed any way of having physical contact with Lance. They’d both been hurting for a long time. He wanted to just stay where they were or go home and say all the things they never had. 

 

“Wanna get out of here?” Lance asked in a desperate attempt to keep Keith from having second thoughts about the situation. Keith however had a jolt of confidence when asked, “Let’s go,” Lust glossed his eyes and Lance felt his mouth turned into a smirk.

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to make some agnsty shit so here it is
> 
> i can't finish chapters because i suck (YET HERE I AM) but ill try to end bothersome some how- i think i have writer's block ;)))))))  
> oh yeah~ im up for constructive criticism and what you thought ;3


End file.
